I felt grateful to be alive this morning. Sadly, it's not a feeling that comes often enough.
I overslept my usual 8am alarm this morning. Our air conditioning is broken so the house had a lazy pace. When I finally got myself together to leave for work, I popped my head into our home office. Two monitors that used to be sitting by the door were no longer there. Tommy mentioned that he would drop them off at Trosa for me if I didn't have any other plans for them. I asked if that's what he did. He told me a story about how when he pulled up to the drop-off location, before he could even get them out of the car, a woman who spotted the two monitors asked him, "do they work?!" He told her yes and that they were hers if she wanted them. The idea of going home with these two monitors lead the woman to hug Tommy and "practically brought her to tears," according to him. He said he told her they were mine. A nice gesture, though this elated woman and I will never meet, and even if we do, how will she know I'm the monitor fairy? The question is, does it matter?
I walked out the front door immediately after hearing that story, welcomed by the clear blue sky and unimpeded sun rays. It was as if the world was responding to the way that story had just made me feel.
In that moment, I felt grateful for my life and the things in it: The people I've met, the places I've been, and yeah, even the frivolous material things I own. Life can be so routine, so curated. Durham has felt that way to me for some time. I feel guilty about it. I take Durham for granted. I took Runaway for granted towards the end. The weight of the world is heavy. Every time I think about the things I want to accomplish in life, today or ten years from now, I think, "will this world even exist then?" and then fall back into just maintaining what life I have instead of being grateful and then striving to reach the next plateau.
During his acceptance speech for the NBA MVP award, Giannas Antetokounmpo quoted his father as saying, "Always want more but never be greedy." A thin line to walk but a commendable goal to strive for.